What makes you feel loved? How do you tend to express your love to others? In his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Gary Chapman helps shed light on the unique ways that different people give and receive love. He breaks it down into five possibilities: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch.

It’s easy and natural to want to show your partner (or mother, son or your best friend) how much you love and appreciate them in your own love language, but what if theirs is different? As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this month, consider ways you can better express how much you care. Take the official love languages quiz and have your significant other take it as well. Maybe your languages will match, but in the likely event that they don’t, consider using these ideas for appealing to their love language. 

Words of Affirmation. People who have the words of affirmation love language need to hear how special they are consistently. Handwritten notes, saying thank you for special favors and daily compliments (especially in front of others) can all appeal to this person’s language.

Acts of Service. An acts of service person believes that actions speak louder than words. Examples of ways to show love include: going to the grocery store for them, filling up the gas tank or vacuuming the house without being asked, and helping out with a difficult or stressful task.

Receiving Gifts. People who give and receive affection by way of gifts love thoughtful, tangible gestures. These gifts don’t have to be big or expensive; they just have to be meaningful. It’s important that you make birthdays, holidays and anniversaries big deals and always return from a trip with a souvenir.

Quality Time. All that quality time people ask from you is a few hours of undivided attention. This means putting the cell phone away, turning off the TV, and making scheduled time with your sweetheart a priority.

Physical Touch. Some of us like our space, but people with physical touch as their primary love language, prefer to be close. Handholding, backrubs, frequent hugs and even a gentle touch on the arm can all remind your partner that you love and appreciate them.


They will still bear fruit in old age.  Psalm 92:14

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